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Post by sansa on Oct 4, 2014 22:45:50 GMT -5
Demeter's shaking hands, folding the worn blue blanket, were the only sign that anything was amiss. To any outside viewer, she was calm as the summer sea, tidying up her den as any mother would in their free time. Anybody who did not know her well would not think twice about the fact that she was voluntarily cleaning. They would see the den, spotless and shining and nothing out of place, and assume that everything was normal. If only they could see her brain churning. They'd change their mind.
Electra had been safe when Demeter returned, playing with her friends under the watchful eyes of Jellylorum and Skimbleshanks. She'd found Munkustrap easily enough after that, pacing the southern wall of the Junkyard. She hadn't told him what had happened. She had barely been able to form words. But he'd understood the general point well enough, and he was now watching over the kittens as well, albeit a little confused. She would tell him more later, when she could form a proper sentence. Or Gilbert would tell him. He had been there as well, hadn't he?
She laid the immaculately folded blanket across the foot of her bed and picked up the clouded handheld mirror. She'd been meaning to clean it up for weeks. She rubbed at it with a rag, but it was not enough to stop her mind from wandering. She felt like he was there, watching her, surrounding her. She could still remember how he'd looked at her, those terrifyingly intoxicating yellow eyes, and the way he'd touched her... God, the way he'd touched her...
She didn't realize the mirror had slipped out of her fingers, but the loud clanking sound it made when it hit the floor elicited a breathy shriek from her. With a shaky inhale, she rubbed hopelessly at her face and sank to her knees to pick it up. There was a long crack down the middle now. She stared at it with furrowed brow. All she was trying to do was clean, did this really have to happen!? Frustration washed over her in waves. She tossed the mirror to the side and buried her face in her paws with a weak groan.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 23:43:04 GMT -5
Gilbert had gotten separated from Demeter, while being cautiously paranoid. He wanted to make sure one or both of the henches didn't double-back.By the time he had gotten back to the junkyard, he could smell her scent near the front gates, but it was faded. The telepath had taken that as a good sign, Demeter had made it back to the yard. There was no smell of blood, aside from his own, still streaking his cheek, and Demeter's body wasn't in visible sight. So Gilbert headed back to his den. Gilbert rummaged through his things for a while, searching, but he wasn't in his den for very long.
Mainly he was just looking for something he could use to cover up the scratch on his face. There was no way he was going to go to the healer's den. Not like he could anyway, without getting thoughts and memories that he never wanted crammed into his head. Also, he didn't do crowds very well. As evidence by the way he would act during the jellicle ball. Anti-social and a nervous wreck. Once he cleaned up and bandaged his cheek, Gilbert frowned. After learning about his little ability, he started getting use to the fact that he couldn't physically touch anyone. But touching was something that was unavoidable.
So Gilbert had found gloves his size. It wasn't hard; there was a lot of crap in the yard if one looked hard enough. He loathed the gloves, though. He picked them up one by one and pulled them on to his two front paws. Then he headed out of his den once again. Running into Demeter a second time in less then two hours was a complete accident. Gilbert had been minding his own business, when a mirror was thrown as Gil was passing by. It had collided painfully with Gil's head, and the tom swore and shouted in pain. Gripping his head, he looked over to where the mirror had come from. Seeing the gold and black queen, yet again, Gil grunted. "Nice shot."
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Post by sansa on Oct 4, 2014 23:53:43 GMT -5
Demeter's fur stood on end at the sound of a male voice nearby. Startled, she looked up to see Gilbert standing just outside the den. Her brow furrowed over anxious eyes, but when she saw the mirror lying near his feet, she stood up with a gasp. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Gilbert." She stepped out of her den and picked up the mirror, holding it closely to her torso.
Hesitation overtook her and she paused. She knew she'd acted ridiculously out in the city. Right in front of Gilbert, too, who hardly knew her. Her ears burned in shame. He could have been hurt, and what was she doing? Cowering in fear, shutting down, shutting it all out. She bit hard on the inside of her cheek. "Are you alright?" she asked, both to the collision with the mirror and to the bandaging on his cheek. That other tom must have done it, the small one.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 0:16:07 GMT -5
Gilbert shrugged his shoulders at her apology. There was no intent behind it, so there was not reason for an apology. That and apologies did make him feel awkward. He brought his gloved paw away from his head but didn't see any blood. So that was good news. One less trip to the infirmary. He heard her inquiry and on instinct replied. "I've been through worse, so I'm fine." His eyes widened a fraction when he realized he had spoken honestly. Hopefully, she was still too upset to really notice his genuine statement. He gave her a look. "What about you? Are you alright?" Gil felt it was only right to see if she was okay, especially since he hadn't escorted her back to the junkyard in the state she was in.
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 0:25:57 GMT -5
Demeter nodded in understanding, though she still felt badly about it. She'd let her emotions get the better of her. Her ears twitched and folded down for a moment. "That's..." She trailed off, not sure what to say, then simply nodded. Suddenly, she found herself breathless. She cleared her throat. The clenching was coming back, starting in her stomach and trailing its way up to her throat. She forced it back down with a forcibly careless smile. "Oh, no, I'm fine. I must be getting sick, a bug or something, I haven't been myself," she said in one breath, with a shaky smile and a casual wave of her paw. She pointed back at her den. "Would you like to come in? I have a bit of mutton from Mungojerrie, if you're interested. Or some cheese..."
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 12:22:52 GMT -5
Gilbert shifted on his feet, already feeling awkward. He wasn't made to be the comforting friend. He didn't even know what it was to have a friend, but he could tell she was lying to him. He could just sense something wasn't quite right. Most likely because he had seen her out on the streets, and she still seemed...off.
"Uh...Sure." Gilbert's face was no longer frowning, but nor was he smiling. Being the first time he was offered to go inside someone's den, his ears folded down briefly.
"I haven't eaten yet, but I won't impose longer then necessary." He softly promised, walking closer towards Demeter, but not rude enough to show himself inside. Gilbert didn't think she'd actually open up to him. However, he figured since he was there when she received those flowers he had a good enough chance. Staying long wasn't an option, but he did want to stay long enough to get to what was really bothering Demeter.
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 12:35:38 GMT -5
Demeter spread what she hoped was a casual smile across her face. "Great." The word was almost a sigh of relief from her mouth. She noted how Gilbert did not walk ahead of her. Polite, or nervous? With curiosity that she hoped did not show, she stepped into her den first and walked toward the metal chest where she kept extra food. It kept things cool enough, tucked away in the shade of the corner, though she did not have food in it often. Like most Jellicles, she preferred to hunt for fresh food, or sweeten up to the shopkeeper if she was feeling bold.
Her fingers, still shaking slightly, fumbled with the latch. She swung the chest open soon enough and turned to Gilbert with meat and cheeses in hand. "I promise that you're not imposing," she said warmly, if not a bit antsy. She set the food on her makeshift table, a milk crate with a board on top, and sat on the shoe box on one side of it, gesturing for Gilbert to sit on the other.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 13:46:13 GMT -5
Relief flooded through his body when she turned away from him and entered into her den. The scrawny tom hesitated at the threshold of her opening, before stepping inside. His ice-blue eyes looked about, taking in what was spread around her den. It was different from his. His tail was puffed out more then normal, but he continued to walk around the den. Gazing about nonchalantly. Her den was so much cleaner then his own. He tensed slightly when she turned back towards him and spoke.
He nodded in response. The food was placed down on the table, and the tip of his tail curled slightly. He hadn't eaten anything since the morning, and he couldn't ignore his own mouth watering at the scent and sight of the food now in front of him. Sitting down on the box where she indicated for him, Gilbert gave her a confused stare. "It looks and smells great, but aren't you going to eat as well?" He was many things, but Gilbert was too uncomfortable to eat in front of the gold and black queen. His elbows rested on the board top, and he threaded his fingers together.
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 13:55:57 GMT -5
Demeter stiffened. She hadn't had much of an appetite since the Ball. And the thought of eating now... Her stomach turned over and she swallowed hard. "Oh, I- I already ate. Before, uh, assaulting you with a hand mirror," she replied with a breathy chuckle. Still, she tore off a chunk of cheese and played with it distractedly. The last thing she needed right now was pity. She felt the familiar anxiety building in her, tearing at her seams. All she wanted then was enough of a distraction to push it back down.
Her tail twitched and curled around her calf in the silence. She found herself unable to meet the other cat's gaze, not without shame and embarrassment burning in her stomach. So she kept her eyes on the cheese in her hands, tearing at it, lining it up on the board, picking it up and putting it back down. "Did you enjoy the Ball?" She regretted the question immediately. The Ball was not a safe subject, not after what had happened. Her teeth dug into the inside of her lip and she stared carefully at her cheese, her face a mask of calmness and pleasantries.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 14:21:16 GMT -5
Gilbert hated his telepathic abilities, but he admitted it would help him situations like theses. Assuming he didn't have to be physically in contact with someone else to use it. There was probably a cat out there that could use telepathy whenever the felt like it. He almost wanted to say Coricopat had those abilities, but Gilbert never talked to the tom to really know if that were true. Still, he didn't have knowledge of Demeter or evidence to say otherwise, but he truly felt she was lying to him. The only reason he didn't call her on it, was because his own eating habits were horrible. He'd eat when he could, and only then he'd only eat a few bites and leave. He trembled slightly, but he finally used his fingers to pull each glove off of each of his paws.
Gilbert set the gloves down on the table top, slightly to the side of him. He waited for her to take some of the cheese before he reached over and took a piece of the food for himself. Sniffing it idly, he pushed it passed his lips and began to chew it. Of course it was awkward. They didn't know each other. What gave him the bright idea to even accept her offer to-. Her question made him swallow hard, and he choked on the piece going slowly down his throat. He covered his mouth when he started coughing, after he was finished choking. He, mumbled an apology as soon as his coughing died down, but didn't dare to take another bite of the food.
The ball? There was no explanation for why she would even care how his version of the ball went. And he was not about to talk about his freak powers alienating him or delve into a self-pity party. "I think you're trying to distract me from what happened...on the streets." Gilbert shrugged his shoulders, emotionally keeping his distance from the queen, or trying to. "With those hench cats. I still...don't really understand what happened." The little ditty that Manfred had sung, seemed like Macavity was hung up on Demeter, but he wasn't aware of their paths ever crossing, before the ball. Unless, that's what it was all about. Gilbert didn't know. He wanted to, but he wanted to make sure Demeter would be alright too.
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 14:44:19 GMT -5
Demeter eyed the gloves with a quiet sort of curiosity. Would it be rude to ask about them? The trembling as he took them off told her that it could be a sensitive topic. She tucked it back into a corner of her mind. Maybe a time would come when it would be conducive to ask. She began to pick at the cheese again, only to look up in alarm when Gilbert started choking. Her fur tingled, and she was a second away from standing up to help, when he finally finished coughing. A small smile passed over her face and she waved his apology away.
Cold dread filled her stomach, though, when he responded to her question, and an involuntary sob escaped her lips. She hastily covered it with a few light coughs. The anxiety was rising again, and this time more quickly. "O-oh," she began haltingly. This was not a subject she wanted to approach, and for a moment, she regretted inviting Gilbert in. All she'd wanted was a distraction. "You know those horrible streetcats. Always looking to... to torment everybody else." She tittered disjointedly, praying that Gilbert dropped the matter. She felt the anxiety looming just beneath the surface, waiting for the opportunity to burst through.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 17:04:03 GMT -5
Gilbert's eyes, narrowed in her direction. Sort of in concern. Demeter's coughing was a weak cover for what was so obviously a sob. A noise that brought him back to that one night in his past. When Ny'hmm had Siobhan shoved up against a wall, and had hit her. Her sob was so desperate and broken. It was that sob that had caused Gilbert to take action, to stand up for Siobhan, to protect her. He shuddered and cursed under his breath. His own past coming up was the last thing he needed to think about. Siobhan had also betrayed him, and he had to reiterate in his mind that 'Demeter was not Siobhan'. He sighed and lowered his eyes. Jenny was the type to see through the bull and get to the heart of the matter.
There had been a few times when Gilbert was sent to the healers den, and he had come into physical contact with Jennyanydots. It was unavoidable, and was not a good experience on Gil's part. Thankfully, he had gotten some thoughts and memories of healing techniques and medicinal herbs; consequentially because she had been thinking of her intellect on healing during the contact. It wasn't nearly enough to be qualified to help others, but it was enough for Gilbert to tend to himself when he needed it, and forgo visiting the healers. "Yeah..." Gilbert drawled, though it was obvious he didn't agree with her excuse. Because that hench didn't call you by name and deliver you a message that froze you to the spot." Came his snap sarcastic response.
His eyes came back up, ashamed for putting her on the spot and causing her more pain for bringing it up. "Look, Demeter. I admit I'm not the poster boy for comforting...fri-...others." He had almost said friends, which would have been even more of a stretch. "However, I...might understand you more then you think. And whatever happened out there, isn't going to go away just because you will it to. You...need to deal with it. Heal, move on....whatever." And his speech had started off so well, until the last bit there.
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 17:13:50 GMT -5
Demeter felt like she had been slapped, finally meeting Gilbert's eyes with a clenched jaw and lips that were slightly parted in surprise. She hadn't been looking for a pity party - in fact, she desperately wanted to avoid one - but she hadn't expected the tom to react like that. She dropped her eyes and pulled her paws into her lap, twisting her fingers around each other where Gilbert could not see.
"I..." The simple word caught in her throat. Oh no. She drew a breath in an attempt to calm herself, but it was shaky. Her legs shook. She could not let this happen. She remembered the last time she'd let herself succumb in front of somebody else. She'd almost told Munkustrap everything, from her first time meeting... to the last time she'd ever seen the warehouse... She looked up at Gilbert with pleading eyes, shining with tears that she did not even realize were there. "Can't." Her voice was hoarse from the effort it took not to break. She had been so strong for so long. She couldn't let herself break. She didn't know what happened after that, she didn't know how to come back from that.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 17:42:07 GMT -5
A paw came up in front of his face, and Gil stared at it intently. He could touch her and experience her emotions and thoughts as if it had happened to him, but she wouldn't feel any different. Gilbert didn't even know his abilities were not one way, that he could send something to her through the physical link. The only time he had, was on instinct, and Gil had been so confused by the manifestation of his abilities that he hadn't even known what he had done. Though, it's not as though he could give Demeter any of his....stubborn strength. "If I could take the pain away from you, I would." And he meant it, he had years of his own emotional pain, that a few more would have gone by unnoticed. He sighed and put his gloves back on. He had a weird sense that he might have to awkwardly pat her paw before the night was done.
If he could provide more comfort then that, he would, but hugging...was out of the question. So he wanted what little protection he could supply. "I have my own ...past that I deal with, but this...it left you frozen in the middle of the road. You almost passed out. What's going to happen the next time?" Gilbert frowned as he stood up and backed away from the table, giving Demeter space. The look on her face looked as though the walls were closing in on her. He'd seen quite a lot when he was homeless, and scouring the streets for anything edible. Still, he wished he could have looked in the humans homes from time to time. Especially down Linden Road. A lot of the older lasses living there, always watched those motivational programs during the afternoon.
He was no motivational speaker. He wasn't good at comfort. Gilbert was a sometimes rude, and usually sarcastic tom. "Someone could get hurt next time you freeze up. You could get hurt. You have friends here that care about you, you know."
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Post by sansa on Oct 5, 2014 18:07:14 GMT -5
Demeter's heart melted, and she looked up at Gilbert once more. A word, a phrase, tried to work its way out of her throat, but it was stuck. She simply shook her head. She wouldn't wish this on anyone... Not even Gilbert, who had demons of his own. A vision entered her head, one of Gilbert, smaller, but more or less the same, cowering in the corner. A shadow loomed over him. Warmth radiated out toward him from beneath her anxiety, and she had the urge to pull him into a hug. Instead, she stood and crossed to her bed of cushions while his next words chipped at her resolve.
"I can't..." she whispered. Her arms found their way tightly around her torso. He was right. She knew he was right. God, it was so selfish. She'd intervened on the street to stop Gilbert from being hurt, and then what had she done? She sank onto the cushions and cradled her face in her paws. No. No, no, no. She wouldn't let herself. She had to be strong, she was better, she'd healed. For Electra. Electra... What if it had been her out there on the street? Another sob escaped her lips, but she didn't bother to hide it.
The walls of her den were closing in, weighing down on her shoulders, squeezing her lungs, squeezing her heart. A tear fell, and then another, and she wiped them away in shame. She wished Bomba were there. She always knew how to distract her.
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